Loving A Wayward Husband

Loving A Wayward Husband

I've been up since 5:40am arguing with this man...

To the point that I'm aggravated because of his insensitivity to a lot of things that could be avoided, if he just does the Spiritual work that he claims he's active in, we wouldn't have these many issues.

So as I'm looking through Pinterest to find a quote, a picture or something to express how I feel.

I saw this...

It expressed how I want him to be. He just told me that when I share my emotions with him, when I share My Truth to him that all I did was force him to listen to my opinion. I felt that he clearly devalued My Truth, My Feeling & My Emotions. It felt like it didn't mean anything to him because it was just my verbal weight that I was releasing. So as I continued to look for more pictures to express myself, I came across a pic that aggravated me even the more. 

And my thoughts of "God, it's NOT FAIR" stung my eyes as I tried to fight back the tears. I was so agitated with the way God pointed out to me, that I wasn't telling HIM about my issues and hurt. God met me where I was, in a feed on Pinterest! 

So as I swiftly tried to dismiss HIM by trying to find another pic that reflected my Raw Emotions I came across another.

Yeah, I was hurt because I wasn't looking to do any more work. I was looking for a way to let my husband know how I felt. How he makes me feel and that he's NOT right about the way he does some things. I mean he mad at me because I challenge him, I keep him accountable, I charge him for not going to God before dealing with a thing that would help us to GROW in a healthy way. I'm mad because he chooses his flesh 96% of the time than the God he says is 1st. 

It's not fair that I'm Spiritually putting in more work than he does and all I feel I'm getting out of it is his ego, his selfishness & his immature mindset and ways. It's not fair that I have to forgive him God...

At this moment I realize, I'm married to NOT just my husband but to GOD! And if HE came to find me through my Pinterest... HE ALREADY knows my hurt feelings with my husband. HE already knows what I was looking for and for HIM to find me on pictures as I wasn't looking for HIM means HE wanted the very thing I was trying not to give... "It to HIM!"

I saw that my focus should be on getting myself right with GOD and everything else (my husband) will line up. But if I keep focusing on my husband's weaknesses... I'll forget about Gods Strength. 

Thank you, God for meeting me where I was!

In Jesus Name. AMEN!