How Did I Get To This Place

How Did I Get To This Place?

I was wondering how did I get to this place?

This place where there is no he, no me.... NO We!

We told each other that there will never be another because all we wanted was each other. As best friends, husband and wife and as lovers.

He was my SupaMann, my BamBam, my Happily Ever After.

My customized Gift from God that was just for me, my Smile wrapped in my Laughter.

But then the day came that TRUTH would jostle us around, move us about and kick one of us to the curb because conforming to ways that weren’t GOD was NOT what our lives were destined to be about. He didn’t see that the division crept in unaware and that’s when our fight together was now against each other.

Blows of discord, division and disrespect. Lies & manipulation was a part of this segregation. Now there is no hesitation in this divorce that we seem to be facing… Knowing that God isn’t pleased with that but how can I fight alone… when ONLY God has my back!

He offered me broken dreams from his broken past.. not understanding that I never lived there, and that wasn’t a part of my path. I just wanted the him that he didn’t believe in, the him that I saw when I fell for him flaws & all. The him that I knew he really wanted to be but couldn’t because he didn’t have the tools of Love unconditionally.

You see I never really judged him because of his past because it seemed like that’s where he was stuck because that’s all he ever had. But I poured my life into him because I believed in Us, I would do it all over again even with his lack of trust. Not just for me but for those who hurt him, degraded him, manipulated him with their twisted thoughts of love for him.

He’s a good man with broken parts…

but Truth be told… he’s too Prideful to let God control the inward parts that begin with His Heart!

To God be the Glory may HE be Glorified through my Story…

Comments

Emotionless Love

Emotionless Love I Cried myself to sleep last night... Yeah, I know you asked me if I was ok, But Your love has put me in a position that I'd rather lie about how I feel than to listen to you tell me that you care. I feel emotionally detached from you. So when I hear love songs that stir up my REAL LOVE for you, I'm Silenced by the fact that I don't feel Important Enough to You to matter. But, I realize why we keep bumping heads. It's because I'm lying to myself that one day you'll REALLY Love me the way I Love You! And you're lying to yourself thinking you are Really doing the Work that's barely keeping US together! If I can't talk to you about the Emotions you want me to hide, why should I have to listen to yours when you could care less about Mine! I Love you so much that I have given you... Way too Much Power over Me. And your Not Worth me killing myself... trying to save YOU! ...

I Release You!

I RELEASE YOU! I'm not stupid you know, I know that you've moved on & everything you've said last week about Us being a One again, was again probably a lie . You do that so well. But, I'm not upset with you because I did it to myself. Loving you more than you deserved. Loving You Flaws and All. Loving the You that you didn't Love. Loving You pass the hurt... because I believe in Us ! I know I said I don't know how to stop loving you but I found that God does, HE knows how to help me to Heal . But because of my love for you, I'm finally strong enough to let go & release you. I Release You from MY Heart , so someone else can love ME . I Release You from MY Prayers , so someone else can appreciate Me. I Release You from This Soul Tie , that was a God ordained...

Perpetual Wheel

Perpetual Wheel …… I want to be that woman that always has encouraging words that uplift you and make you feel like you can do anything, it is the lies the distrust and the hurt that makes when you come to me respond wrong to you. Instead of getting love you get contempt and doubt. This in turn makes you not want to tell me anything, what a perpetual wheel we are on. The change must begin with me. I will learn to respond to your heart even though I don’t trust it. I’ll give you encouraging words even though I get lies. I’ll be that woman you need that has to always pat your back and compliment you, even though mine is not patted or my sensual look not complimented. My words will be soft and kind, even though there is silence from you and being ignored is the norm…. Yes a perpetual wheel of no communication, no kind words, no encouragement and no pats on the back……forever turning never going anywhere. #HeIsMYStrength!!! #Proverbs31Wif...

Ugly Truth XL

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